Discover more from The Art of Unintended Consequences
"I Love Being Me..."
A tale of many woes and deadly sorrows.
I really do love being me. But fortunately for you, this is NOT a tale about me.
My readings travel many different subjects in numerous unusual places. This usually ends up with me falling down random rabbit holes where I get lost exploring. This might lead some to call me a bit unfocused as I wander these twisted warrens, but my spectrum does lead me to a lot of interesting people and events.
This story is one that really spoke to me about the Unintended Consequences (UCs) of other’s actions. Ha! Bet you didn’t see that coming.
I do enjoy an uplifting Unintended Consequence (UC) - let’s see if this is one of those.
Adversity can lead us down many paths, both good and bad. How we handle that adversity is sometimes determined by how much we believe in ourselves and our ability to overcome. But for those who are hit with true adversity, it may be hard for them to imagine in the moment that they can come out of on other side whole… or even functional.
Living in a moment of extreme adversity tends to focus a person down to managing or surviving that singular moment.
The world shrinks and focuses to a singularity of that time and place where our mind shifts to survival mode.
Even if there is no actual physical danger, ancient constructs within our brains force us into fight-or-flight mode where we react as best we can with the instinctual tools we have at hand. We may find we have more strength within us than we imagined. Or, we might shut down, fleeing the danger mentally.
In either case, that single instance may or may not define us. Many factors come into play to determine the lasting impact.
To More Adversity…
The risk becomes more dire when adversity is an ongoing misadventure that moves a person from one defining event to the next, and the next, with some of these events lasting over many years.
I won’t identify the subject of our tale here and will leave it to him to tell his story when and where he chooses. But I wanted to share a few points surrounding his life to illustrate how the actions - some large, some small - of many people resulted directly in the unintended consequence of making him who he is today.
The details aren’t important for our tale, but let’s just say that much of his early life was steeped in a near constant state of fear and sadness that most likely permeated every moment of his childhood. The actions of others were instrumental in developing and maintaining this state of adversity.
All of this led to depression, insecurity, divorce, and more. It could have ended badly there. Fortunately, he did survive, which is why you are reading this story. A story, sadly, that is not unique to him. There are many tales like his, and many others who have suffered much worse. However, there is something important his story left me with.
“I Love Being Me - I Am Becoming!”
In the end, he didn’t just survive, he came out on the other side being so much more than I imagine he ever dreamed possible.
A father of two sons
Two college degrees
A job he loves
A Mentor and Role Model to others who are struggling
A searcher for how to help and positively impact others
For our purposes here, it does not matter if it was his faith in God, faith in himself, something external, or something deep inside of him that allowed him to overcome the impact of those who imposed adversity on his life. In the end, HE decided to overcome rather than succumb.
What really spoke to me though - and why I chose this story out of the many others out there - was how he chose to sum up his life now… “I love being Me - I am becoming!”
A Simple Statement on Life
Isn't that what it's really about? His simple statement sums up what “success” should be for everyone. All the trappings of life are nice, but real success is within ourselves. Being who we want to be. Being the person that we love being.
But here’s the point of this story… it would have been nice if his life had been blessed all along and he had not had to endure what he did. BUT, one does have to wonder how much the adversity that others laid upon his early life directed the consequence of molding him into what he finally became.
Would he be experiencing the joy in life that he feels now?
How many people has he touched with his kindness and his support?
How many other lives has he changed, altering their life trajectory forever?
Whatever the case, “I love being me” sums up what success should be for everyone - a great consequence no matter how you look at it.
I would love to hear from you about any unintended consequences you have experienced in your life - or the lives of others. Or just feel free to comment on the story. You can also learn more about me at www.gabberz.com. Thanks for your time.
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